


It's All Coming Back to Me Now

by kiarcheo



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Beheaded Cousins, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Found Family, Gen, Good Cousin Katherine Howard, Historical Inaccuracy, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of the past, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Catherine of Aragon, Past Lives, Soft Catherine of Aragon, for one thing mostly, how the musical came to be, tags will be added or changed as I post more, we all know what happened to Katherine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiarcheo/pseuds/kiarcheo
Summary: ‘So, if every queen came back, does it mean…’ she looks around.‘She hasn’t graced with her presence in a while, bu-’ Anne stops as Katherine abruptly stands up and drops into a deep curtsy.Catalina is standing still on the stairs, as frozen, eyes fixated on the new arrival. Then, without saying a word, she turns on her heels and disappears upstairs again.‘Don’t take it personally.’ Anna repeats the same words she had been told as she sees Katherine’s face falling. ‘She did the same with me.’
Relationships: Catherine of Aragon & Katherine Howard
Comments: 113
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been living in my brain for 6 months at least and now I'm finally writing it down. I love it a lot and I hope you'll like it too.

The queens come back one by one.

When Anne Boleyn joins her in the house where their… benefactors? Supervisors?...have been hosting them, Catalina is disappointed but not particularly surprised. She has no idea why she has been brought back or how, but she had overheard one of her…handlers?...saying something about Henry VIII’s wives. Obviously, that had meant Anne, no matter how much Catalina had wished to never see her again.

Jane Seymour is…not terribly unexpected. If not the person, the fact that Anne didn’t last as queen. If Catalina is being petty, she’ll say that it’s because obviously Anne wasn’t fit to be a queen. But if she is being honest… from what she remembers about Jane as her maid-of-honour, she had been much more accommodating and demurer than Anne, which probably suited Henry better. The king might have enjoyed intellectual discussions…but only as long as they ended with him being right.

Anna of Cleves showing up throws the other three women off, Catalina especially.

‘Excuse me, but how many wives did he have exactly?’ She doesn’t expect an answer. If Jane had no idea there had been another woman after her, Anna probably won’t know either.

‘Six. So if we’re going in order…the next one would be Katherine Howard.’

‘Howard?’ Anne repeats.

‘She was your cousin, yes.’

Catalina lets out a strangled sound, before storming away.

‘Don’t take it personally.’ Jane reassures the new arrival. ‘She has a temper.’

Anne snorts. _Catalina_ had a temper? She has her issues with the first queen, but the Spaniard isn’t the one among them more likely to end up screaming in your face…

They end up not seeing Catalina for days. Not that they would spend time together before, but every now and then they would try to coexist in the same room, some attempts more successful than others. But now the first queen spends all her time in her room, getting out only for rare trips to the kitchen. Anne and Jane dissuade Anna from checking on her, saying that she probably needs time to come to terms with the news and that it’s better to leave her alone. Since they know her better than her – who has never met her before coming back in this new life – Anna defers to their expertise.

When the fifth queen arrives, Jane and Anne are taken aback by how young she looks. Despite being related to them, she is clearly familiar and more comfortable with Anna, so they leave the explanations to the German queen, piping in only when their ‘longer’ experience in this second life of them is called upon.

‘So, if every queen came back, does it mean…’ she looks around.

‘She hasn’t graced with her presence in a while, bu-’ Anne stops as Katherine abruptly stands up and drops into a deep curtsy.

Catalina is standing still on the stairs, as frozen, eyes fixated on the new arrival. Then, without saying a word, she turns on her heels and disappears upstairs again.

‘Don’t take it personally.’ Anna repeats the same words she had been told as she sees Katherine’s face falling. ‘She did the same with me.’ 

\---

The first queen had been having nightmares every single night since…what feels definitely too long. Nothing new. But that night the dreams are particularly vivid and even worse than usual. Perhaps that’s why when she manages to wake herself up and slowly comes to consciousness to a comforting presence, she doesn’t question it. 

‘¿Catalina?’ she breathes out ‘¿Eres tu?’

‘Sí, mi reina.’

The older queen holds out her hand out of habit and Katherine immediately takes it. ‘Estoy aquí.’ She kisses her hand. ‘¿Necesita algo?’

She shakes her head. It wakes her up a bit more, and she realises the young girl is kneeling by her bedside. ‘How long?’

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Now it’s Katherine’s turn to shake her head.

‘Get in.’ Catalina scoots over and raises her sheet. ‘But I do not wish to make you uncomfortable.’ She adds seeing Katherine’s hesitation.

‘It’s just…I’m not a little girl anymore.’

‘Are you going back to your room?’

‘If you wish so.’

‘And if I don’t?’

‘Then I’ll stay.’

‘I’m told it’s a queen size.’ It gets a chuckle out of both. ‘I’m sure we both can fit.’ She sees Katherine’s reluctance wavering. ‘I would sleep better knowing you are not on the floor.’

Katherine looks like she knows she has been played but acquiesces, so Catalina is surprised to wake up alone the next morning.

For the first time in forever she goes downstairs for breakfast and lingers around, much to the other queens’ surprise, hoping to catch the girl.

‘Has Katherine come down yet?’ It’s Anna who asks the question that is also on Catalina’s mind. The fourth queen frowns at the shakes of heads she receives. ‘She didn’t eat a lot yesterday.’ She had barely picked at her food to be precise. Claimed she was tired and the whole ordeal of coming back to life had left her all out of sorts, but Anna is quite sure that the less-than-warm welcome she had received had left her shaken and played a role too.

‘I could bring something to her.’ Catalina’s offer gets surprised looks and raised eyebrows.

‘You’re going to apologise? Is the end of the world coming?’

Catalina glares at Anne.

‘Could be a nice way to introduce yourself.’ Anna can’t help herself, even if it lands her at the end of the first queen’s glower.

If Catalina hears Anne’s muttered comment of how she never thought she’d seen the day the great Catherine of Aragon would bring food to someone else, she chooses to ignore it, focusing on keeping the tray steady while climbing the stairs.

She stands in front of the door. Closed door. Which brings up a dilemma. Should she put down the tray – and risk a spilling disaster – to knock or should she go for the less refined route of giving a couple of kicks to the door to announce her presence?

She decides to first try calling out. ‘Can I come in?’

Luckily, Katherine opens the door herself instead of just calling her in, which would have presented the same problem as knocking due to her lack of free hands.

Catalina puts down the tray on the empty desk, then turns to close the door, missing the surprised look on Katherine’s face.

‘You weren’t there this morning.’

‘Did you need me?’

‘No.’ She stops her before she can start to fret.

Katherine sits on the bed. ‘I thought you wouldn’t want me there. I know you can’t stand the sight of me,’ she looks down at her hands, clasped in her lap, ‘and that even if last night you had a…vulnerable moment, you wouldn’t want me there in the morning.’

‘What? No! Why would you think so?’ Catalina sounds outraged at the suggestion.

‘You went out of your way to avoid me. Anna said that you did the same when she arrived, but you had talked to her before, at least. You just took a look at me and- I understand, of course-’

‘No, you don’t.’ Catalina interrupts her. ‘It’s true. Looking at you it’s…difficult. I can hardly bear it.’ She admits. ‘Do you know why?’

Katherine doesn’t say anything, still refusing to look at her. She has a good idea why. She actually has a list of reasons why. She has spent hours compiling it in her head since the moment Catalina had turned around at the mere sight of her.

‘Because all I can think is how much I failed you.’

‘You didn’t!’ the denial is vehement.

‘How can you say that? How can you even look at me knowing that what happened it’s my fault?!’ Catalina turns away in shame.

‘You fault?!? You died!’ Katherine takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. ‘I apologise. I didn’t mean to scream. Can you please sit down?’

Katherine heaves a weary sigh as Catalina sits on the chair rather than next to her on the bed. She stands up and crouches down by the chair. ‘You died. And correct me if I’m wrong, it’s not that you wanted to. Or that you had any say in the matter. A very wise queen used to tell me that one should never take responsibility for things outside their control.’

Catalina finally raises her head and looks at the girl at her feet. ‘I look at you and…I looked at you curtsying and I saw the 8-year-old who stumbled curtsying and then got worried because she had been told I wasn’t the queen anymore, was that still the appropriate way to greet me? I looked at you last night by my bed and saw the 13-year-old holding my hand during my last days, trying to make me comfortable, comforting an old, scared woman despite being terrified herself. I look at you now and I see the girl sitting at my feet asking me to braid her hair while she learns Spanish.’ She cups Katherine’s cheek, wiping away her tears, while her own flow freely. ‘Since I learned that he had married you, I can’t stop thinking that I started it all. What if I had fought him more? Or less? What if I-’ 

‘Don’t torture yourself like this.’ Katherine grabs her hands. ‘I won’t lie and say that I never thought about how my life would have been if you hadn’t died when you did.’ She stops. It dawns on her that Catalina doesn’t seem to know that her dying meant she had been sent to live at her step-grandmother’s house where she met Mannox and all her problems began. If she is already torn apart by her death having somehow led to her marriage with Henry and then her execution, she isn’t going to add to her guilt, no matter how unwarranted it is. She knows she wouldn’t see it that way. ‘But I never blamed you. Because it was not your fault.’

The draining conversation comes to an end, but Katherine knows that it’s going to take more than that to convince Catalina.

In fact, the nightmares keep happening. And Catalina keeps waking up to Katherine keeping vigil by her bed, glass full of water and damp washcloth on the nightstand. They have the routine down to a science. Catalina sits up, drinks some water, wipes away night sweats, then scoots over, Katherine climbs in and then they try to go back to sleep.

‘How do you always know?’ Catalina asks one night as they are lying in bed, waiting for sleep to claim them.

‘It’s my job to know when you need me.’

‘No, it’s not. Not anymore.’

‘You know that it was more than a job to me, right?’ Katherine’s voice carries an undertone of concern as well as distress.

‘I know.’

And she does. And she did at the time too. She has no doubt that appointing her to her service was meant to be a slight. Stripped of her title, forbidden to even communicate with her closest affects, and forced to rely as her closest attendant on an 8-year-old. From what she understood from Katherine, her father had many children and few assets and had jumped at the chance of having his daughter employed and out of the way, even if in such a disgraceful position. Catalina holds no misconceptions that it could have been an even slightly coveted position. That’s why she had quickly waived off Katherine’s apologies for having kept her period at her service a secret. It probably would not have pleased Henry, had he known. Especially how they had quickly taken a shine to each other. It also answered her doubt about whether Henry had known that the help he had so graciously allowed her to have was the first cousin of the woman who had replaced her in his bed and on the throne. She had wondered at the time, not doubting he would do it out of spite, to have her living with a constant reminder of what she lost...but then, again, having a close family member, no matter how impoverished, at her service would have been seen as disrespectful towards the new queen, so it made sense that he hadn’t been aware.

‘I know.’ She repeats. ‘We used to sleep in the same room so obviously you would hear my every movement…’ she tries again.

‘I’m a light sleeper. Doesn’t take much to wake me up.’

Sleeping in such close quarters with people she barely knows has her constantly on edge. Every little noise at night has her tensing. It’s easy to hear Catalina’s distress as soon as it starts when you’re attuned to every sound that shouldn’t be there. And taking care of her means she doesn’t spend the night waking up at every noise, brain racing: are those steps? Is someone coming to her room? Katherine knows the other women would never hurt her…but try telling that to her subconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I understand some Spanish it’s mostly because of 1) similarities with Italian 2) tv-shows (the last being actually Mexican and yes, I know, there are differences between Latin American Spanish and Spain Spanish). I'm relying on this knowledge and Google so feel free to correct any mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

‘Where is everyone?’ Anne asks. While they don’t necessarily spend a lot of time together, you can usually hear the others moving around. Instead the house is weirdly silent. It might be Sunday but it’s nearly lunch time and none of them are late risers.

She doesn’t get a reply from Jane, but as her cousin looks at her and then at the other queen in the room, Anne figures she is not ignoring her but rather doesn’t know.

Feeling eyes on her Cathy looks up. ‘Oh. I saw Anna going out. She said that Katherine went to mass with Catalina?’ she sounds unsure. She is the most recent arrival and she is still trying to understand what the dynamics in the house are. She had immediately noticed Katherine being particularly deferential towards the first queen, and at first she thought it was due to Catalina having a presence that commands respect (Cathy knows she has hers) and Katherine generally trying to be helpful and considerate.

Then the others had mentioned the debacles of Anna and especially Katherine’s arrivals, and she could see why they think that Katherine always springing into action when Catalina needs something is because she is…intimidated? Trying to be accommodating? Cathy had not seen them spending time together like Anne and Katherine do, so she isn’t sure what to think about their outing…if she even understood Anna correctly.

Anne and Jane seem equally surprised for a second, before Anne nods to herself. ‘Howards had always been staunch Catholics.’

\---

‘What did you think?’ Catalina asks as they leave the church. ‘So far this is the one I liked the most, but feel free to check others out and see if you prefer another.’ When she had come back, she had visited all the Catholic churches in the area, attending masses and liturgies, before choosing the one she liked the most for homilies and atmosphere in general.

‘Different. Less Latin for one.’ They both chuckles. ‘The music is very different too, with the songs…but I liked it. It was…nice. I have missed it. The comfort. The peace.’ Katherine peers at Catalina. ‘You know, they got a lot of things wrong about me.’

‘Who?’

‘People. Books.’

‘Of course.’

‘Have you read them?’ Katherine swallows, not sure she wants to know the answer.

‘No. And after this, I’m not going to.’ Catalina squeezes her arm. Katherine doesn’t know if she means her saying they got things wrong or her nerves. ‘I know the real you.’

‘When you search my name on the internet, the first result is Wikipedia.’ Catalina nods. They are all familiarising with the new technologies. ‘It says that I’ve never been described as scholarly…or devout.’ The younger girl continues. ‘They never gave me the chance for the first one, but the second is true.’

Catalina looks at her surprised. Sure, she was a child during their time together, but that’s not what she remembers. Still she says nothing.

‘I was just so…angry. At God. Why did he let bad things happen to me? To you? I know. I know. Your faith had been tested so many times and you stayed strong, but I was weak. And angry. So angry. It got better towards the end, but now…now I got a second chance at life. _We._ Got a second chance at life. Who am I not to give God a second chance too?’ she pauses. ‘That sounded terribly conceited, didn’t it?’

‘A bit.’ Catalina agrees with a chuckle.

‘Are you disappointed in me?’

Catalina stops her and turns her around so they are facing each other. ‘Listen to me carefully.’ She cups her cheeks. ‘You will never disappoint me. Certainly not for struggling with something absolutely normal. And not for anything else.’

Katherine looks at her with teary eyes. ‘You wouldn’t say that if you knew-’

‘Do I need to break out the Spanish?’ She asks playfully stern. ‘Catalina.’

Katherine will never know how she manages to make a word – a name – sound loving and scolding at the same time. But she can’t stop the small smile growing on her face. She loves when she calls her that. She loves when they speak Spanish. It’s like their own private language. Which she knows is not and others speak it too. But it’s how they used to talk at the time and now it’s how they are more comfortable expressing themselves (well, once she took it up again and brushed it up. It had gotten rusty since she didn’t have anyone to practice it with. Nobody expected her to know it. They all thought she was too stupid). It’s the first queen calling her Catalina or mi niña. It’s the amused shake of head when Katherine calls her mi reina – she might call her Catalina in public but it still feels a bit disrespectful calling her queen by her first name…besides, if Katherine is _her_ Catalina, it would be confusing, right?, she always tries to convince the older queen. It’s old tales and soft songs whispered at night until they fade out, sleep finally taking over.

‘Nunca. Jamás.’ She stresses the words. ‘¿Entiendes?’

Katherine nods even if she doesn’t truly, fully, believes it.

‘Good. Now, what do you think about grabbing something to eat?’

Returning home they are greeted by a ‘That was a long mass.’ from Anne.

‘We went for brunch.’ Katherine answers for both of them.

‘What’s brunch?’ Cathy asks, always eager to learn something new.

‘It’s like a combination of breakfast and lunch…like for when it’s late for breakfast but early for lunch?’ Katherine looks at Catalina for confirmation. It has been her first brunch. ‘It’s a portmanteau.’

‘That’s a big word.’

‘I’m not stupid!’ Katherine growls before stomping away.

Anne stands stumped. She meant to tease her, not offend. She turns to Catalina. ‘What did you do?’

‘Me?!?’ She had not the one who opened her mouth and upset the girl.

‘She has been crying.’ Anne had noticed the red eyes. And her cousin is usually not that oversensitive. 

‘So obviously I made her cry because I’m always the villain of the story, right?’

‘I’m sure that Anne didn’t mean it like that.’ Cathy tries to intercede.

Catalina looks at her in disbelief. That was obviously what she meant.

‘Well. She is upset. And she spent the day with you.’ Anne lays down the fact. ‘Clearly something happened.’

Catalina takes a deep breath trying to calm down. And then another one. ‘We had an emotional conversation. She is still a bit…raw.’ Anne is worried about Katherine and she can…appreciate that. Even if she doesn’t appreciate being spoken at like that. Or the implication that she would do something to upset Katherine.

\---

Mass and brunch after become a regular thing.

Catalina is sitting at their usual café waiting for Katherine to return with something to clean up a spill, when an older lady approaches her.

‘Your girl is very eager, isn’t she?’

Catalina gives a tight smile. Yes, it’s the fourth time that Katherine had gotten up. First it was because she had gone to get some water for both of them. Then because they had forgotten the napkins. Then because they had brought the wrong order. Catherine had tried to tell her she would go, but Katherine hadn’t even replied and just went.

‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s very nice to see young people still having some respect…but don’t forget that it’s a parent’s job to take care of their children...’

‘Is everything alright?’ Katherine asks, looking between Catalina, who has a strange look on her face, and the lady now leaving the café. ‘Did she say anything?’ It wouldn’t be the first time people offered unsolicited advice. Although usually they don’t approach Catalina but try to impart their uninvited wisdom upon her.

‘Just commented on how helpful you were being. Implying that I should be the one taking care of you because that’s a parent’s job.’ 

‘I like taking care of you. Not that you need me to. But just…if I can make your life easier, why shouldn’t I? It makes me f-’

They already had the same discussion more than once, so Katherine isn’t surprised when Catalina waves her words off with her hand. What she doesn’t expect is what she says after interrupting her. ‘She thought I was your mother.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You’re sorry? Why?’ Catalina looks confused. ‘And you’re not surprised?’ she tacks on.

‘You’re the closest to a mother figure I ever had.’ She mutters sheepishly. She doesn’t have a lot of memories of her mother. She had died when she was five, and even when she was alive, she had to share her with nine siblings. ‘Of course, I know you’re not, you have Mary, and I’m not- I would never-’ she stumbles on her words, in a rush to explain herself.

‘Catalina!’

Katherine stops, looking at her uneasily. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t. Don’t be sorry. I would be lying if I said I never thought of you as my child.’

‘Really?’

The hopefulness in Katherine’s voice and eyes breaks Catalina’s heart a little.

‘I used to dream that I would see Mary again and you two would meet and would love each other as sisters.’ Catalina admits. She has never said it aloud.

‘Me and Mary were…complicated. She had issues with me marrying her father. I had issues with that too.’ She chuckles bitterly. ‘We came to an agreement by the end. I wish I could tell you I was there for her.’ She frowns. Knowing that Catalina had wished for them to be like sisters makes her feel like she had disappointed her. Once again. ‘I feel like I failed-’

‘Don’t you dare say that you’re sorry.’

Katherine closes her mouth. She was indeed going to apologise.

‘Since we are on heavy topics.’ Catalina folds her hands on the table, steeling herself. ‘You know how we have been talking about moving out?’

Katherine nods. While there are no more shouting matches as she is told there had been in the beginning, things at home are often tense. Sharing a house with the only other five people in the world living the same experience – going from queens of England in the 16th century and most importantly being dead to being alive in the 21st century – had been comforting. There is safety in numbers, after all. But now, having settled down and found their feet in the new world, the others feel ready to delve into it on their own, to find their place as individuals rather than just as one of six.

Luckily there are no problems of money. They had all signed a contract agreeing to keep their return under wraps for a while, in exchange getting enough money to live comfortably and then some. Katherine is not sure what they feared. That they would try and reclaim the throne? Demand their properties back? Ask for reparations? Still she had been in no rush to expose herself, trying to come to terms with her sudden return to life centuries after her death had been hard enough. And not having to worry about money had been nice too.

‘Well, would you be interested in moving in with me?’ Catalina carries on.

‘You want me to live with you?’

‘Naturally, you’d have your own bedroom. Your own space. But feel free to say no. I totally understand if you want to, you know, have your freedom. Live on your own. Of course, you’d want to. This was silly, I’m sorry.’

‘No.’ Katherine had been putting off the thought. Not the most mature or responsible thing to do on her part but…Sure, striking out on her own was somehow an exciting idea…but mostly an overwhelmingly, absolutely terrifying one. ‘I’d love to. I just never...are you sure? Because if it’s about what that lady said-’

‘I have been thinking about it for a while.’ Pretty much since they first started to talk about the possibility and she had seen the brief look of panic on Katherine’s face before she schooled her expression to a more neutral one. She just didn’t know how to approach the topic.

‘What?’ the younger girl asks seeing Catalina shaking her head with a small smile.

‘Just realised what a pair we make, keeping second guessing ourselves when it comes to each other...’

But just because they acknowledge it, it doesn’t mean they stop doing it. But it lessens when they take another big decision. Even bigger than going to live together. 

They are having brunch together, once again, this time after having viewed some properties...and once again having fumbled through explanations of their relationship.

‘I don’t want to overstep, but...you know I consider you my daughter,’ Katherine smiles at that, prompting Catalina to continue despite the nerves. ‘So I was wondering...if you had ever thought about, you know, making it official?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘If I could adopt you, is it something you’d like?’

‘Can you do that?’

‘Of course, you had parents and family and-’

‘Fat lot of good they were.’ Not fair to her mother, Katherine knows it. Just like Catalina she didn’t chose to die and leave her alone, but still.

‘Still, I understand that it was weird to ask and I’m not holding it against you that you don’t want to, I just-’

‘I never said that I don’t want to.’ Katherine interrupts her.

‘Oh?’

‘It was a genuine question. Can you actually adopt me?’

‘I’ve looked into it a bit and I think so? There is no adoption for adults, but the documents they gave us say you’re technically not 18 yet, so that would be fine. And there are no living parents or family or legal guardians who could challenge me, the only problem might be that- Are you okay?’ Catalina trails off seeing Katherine tearing up.

She waves her worries off. Catalina went to the trouble of looking it up even before asking her, even with the risk of her saying no and that it would be a waste of time (well, there had been no risk at all, but Catalina was so unsure proposing it that she probably thought it was an actual possibility). Sometimes, often if she has to be honest, Katherine still can’t believe that someone cares about her so much, like Catalina seems to. ‘The only problem might be?’

‘That you’re emancipated.’ It had never crossed the others’ minds that she was technically a minor in the new world. At their time marriage often marked the passage to adulthood but generally speaking by the time you were fifteen you were considered an adult. Not to mention that she had been the queen of England. They didn’t realise it until they had asked her to buy some ale and she had to point out that she couldn’t yet. They were definitely less surprised to find out that it had been her choice to get emancipated…considering that the other option would have been having a legal guardian until the age of majority. ‘I’m not sure if that trumps you being under 18.’

Luckily for them, it did not. They make it official, not too long before Katherine’s 18th birthday. Or what they put down as her birthday in her documentation. The date of her actual birthday had been apparently lost to history and Katherine had not been too fussy about that. Not that it had been a big deal at the time either. Besides, new life, new birthday, new name: Katherine Trastámara Howard.

She is asked by the official whether she wants to drop the Howard. She had looked at Catalina, who, of course, had left it up to her, saying she didn’t care either way. ‘I’ll keep it.’ She had decided. ‘Howard is where I come from, Trastámara is who I am.’ It echoed what Catalina had said when she had asked her if she was bothered by everyone calling her Aragon – sometimes not even with of or de in front of it – instead of her actual surname that was on her documents. ‘I am Catalina Trastámara. But Aragon – and Castille, if we want to be precise – is where I am from. It’s part of me. Made me who I am. So I don’t mind.’

\---

‘I’m Catalina and this is my daughter, Katherine.’

‘You named your daughter after yourself? Conceited much?’

‘So what? When men do it, it’s fine and cute and about legacy, but women are just narcissists?’ Catalina’s delivery is even, if a bit frosty, but Katherine knows she is seething inside. She guesses that good neighbouring relationships are not going to happen in this particular case. ‘And anyway, she is adopted, I wasn’t going to make her change the name she had all her life.’

Two lives, to be precise, but Katherine doesn’t have the time to say anything because Catalina is already marching away without waiting for a reply from their speechless neighbour. She trails after her, half listening to her ranting in Spanish about the nerve of some people, using some words that most people would be surprised to hear coming from the first queen. 

‘Catalina! ¿Me estás escuchando?’ She turns around. ‘¿Qué?’ she asks seeing a peculiar expression on Katherine’s face.

Every time someone, well, one of the other queens, had commented on Catalina doing something unseemly or even just unexpected from the first queen, Katherine had noticed she would then make an effort not to do it again. She doesn’t want Catalina to feel like she has to censor herself because…what? It’s not proper for a queen to swear? And even if that was true, they aren’t queens anymore, and she wants her to feel free to be herself, at least when they are together.

‘When you call me that, we have exactly the same name.’ She says instead. She _did_ just have the realisation, after all. ‘Imagine if you had done that with…’ she tilts her head in the direction they are coming from, ‘our friend there. Hello, my name is Catalina Trastámara and this is my daughter, Catalina Trastámara.’

They both laugh. ‘Now I wish I had done that.’ The older woman admits, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m aware that it doesn’t work like this (adult adoption in the UK doesn’t seem to exist, and I’m not sure how adopting an emancipated minor works or if it’s possible at all), but for the sake of the fictional story let’s say it does.


	3. Chapter 3

The changed relationship between Catalina and Katherine remains pretty much a secret, even if not on purpose. It's just that nothing really changes for them. They are already living together (they will realise later on that nobody mentions it because they don’t know). Katherine calls Catalina mum or mamá only occasionally, and only when they are alone. She is working on the irrational fear that by showing how close they are, how much she loves Catalina, she will somehow lose her, but habits are hard to break. And while it always gives them a thrill to refer to the other as their mother/daughter, it’s something rarely needed as they don’t meet that many new people. Their now legal bond is as cherished as much as it is not talked about.

If you were to ask them why they never said anything to the other queens, they would just reply that it simply never came up. And it’s not like they don’t talk to the others. Things are much more relaxed since moving out. Distance and space definitely made for better relationships in their case. Of course, some grow closer more than others. Katherine, in particular, made an effort to stay in touch with all the others and build a relationship with every single one, but she quickly made it an unofficial rule not to talk about the other queens. Tired to spend half of their meetups providing updates about the others, she had finally sent a message to the group chat very politely saying that if they wanted to know how someone was doing they should ask the person in question and not her.

And it’s on that very group chat that Cathy requests a meeting, the first time they would get all together since they moved out of their shared house.

They are catching up when Catalina speaks up. ‘Not that this isn’t nice-’

‘Try not to sound so surprised. I’m a freaking delight to be around.’ 

Catalina’s glare at Anne lacks any heat. Just because she made Katherine laugh. You are supposed to be merciful towards the court buffoon, after all. It’s not like she suddenly likes her.

‘But is there a specific reason we are all here or....?’ all remaining chatter peters out and attention turns to Cathy.

‘Have you looked...read what they say about us? Yourself,’ she corrects herself. They have a sort of implicit agreement not to look into each other’s lives. As much as possible, at least, considering how interconnected some of their stories are.

Everyone nods, mood getting sombre.

‘From your faces I guess you don’t necessarily like what you found?’

‘It’s not about liking. Some things are just plain wrong.’ Jane’s comment gets another round of nods.

‘I agree. And that’s what I wanted to talk to you...Since we got a second chance, why don’t we make things right. Tell people what really went down. Like, I was not a glorified, old nursemaid.’

‘I was not ugly.’

‘You have always been stunning.’

Anna’s scowl turns into a soft smile towards Katherine.

‘I was not a witch. And I had a normal amount of fingers. And I definitely never did anything weird with my brother and-’

‘We get it, babe.’

Everyone – Catalina included – stops, surprised by the term of endearment. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

‘What if we could change that?’ Cathy jumps in, recovering. ‘If history remembers us wrong, we have the chance to make it right. Give our own version of the facts.’

‘I thought we were not supposed to talk about it? Like, tell people who we are?’ Jane points out. ‘We made a deal.’

‘A limited-time deal.’ It’s Anna who seems to catch on what Cathy is saying. There is still quite some time before it expires, but still...

‘Exactly. And when the gag order is done...I think it’s time we speak up.’

‘How?’

Everyone nods. They are not against it in principle, not at all, but they haven’t actually thought about the possibility before, so it’s a brand-new concept for them.

‘At first I thought about writing a book.’

‘Of course, you did.’

It might actually work, Cathy thinks looking at the queens, who all said it at the same time and are now sharing amused glances. And she’ll happily takes the teasing if that is what is needed.

‘But then I thought...how many people are actually going to read it? And what kind of people?’ Cathy continues. ‘I would like to think that nobody already interested in...history? The period? Us?...well, actually believes that Anne was a witch, for example. What we need is to change popular misconceptions and as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think books would do the job. Then I thought...interviews. They surely would have more reach. But how would we choose? How many? Would we have control over the questions? And then Kat gave me the perfect idea. A fun, engaging one to take control of our narratives.’

‘Me?’ the youngest queen asks surprised.

‘Hamilton.’ It’s all Cathy says.

Catalina groans. ‘She got you too?’

Cathy has to guess that she has been subjected to the topic one too many times (Cathy doesn’t know that in the Trastámara house there is a limit of once a day per soundtrack...because Catalina appreciates music as any normal person does or even more, but Katherine gets obsessed. For weeks she had listened to those 46 songs – yes, she counted them – on repeat, and she had to put a stop to it. Once a day is enough, thank you very much). The other queens are nodding, so it seems that everyone has at least heard Kat talking about it.

‘You want to write a musical about ourselves?’ Anne asks, sounding intrigued.

‘I want us to write it. But yes. If we do it well, it would have a bigger audience than an interview or a book could ever reach.’

‘Except that not anyone can write a musical.’ Anna points out, sceptical.

‘I seem to remember some people having quite the musical skills.’ Cathy didn’t read up on the others, but being the last queen means that she had heard stuff about her predecessors. And while she knows to take with a pinch of salt (or a whole handful of it) what people were saying, even at the time, she doesn’t think that would be something worth lying about. What’s the point of spreading false rumours about Catherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn being accomplished musicians and talented singers? Cathy herself had vocal and instrumental music training, just like them and Kat too.

Cathy chances a glance at the youngest queen. Hopefully the others will think that it’s knowledge from the past – which mainly is – and not related to anything Kat had shared with her. Like the fact that despite some hang-ups, she had decided to take up music again, not wanting bad memories to ruin forever something she loved. She had started with the ukulele figuring it was the most similar she could get to a lute, before moving to guitar. Then on keyboard…money and space wise a piano was just not feasible for where she lived, Kat had explained. Similar issues, along with the noise, are the ones keeping her away from drums (Catalina has been extremely supportive but putting up with her learning how to play drums might be a bit too much even for her). So she had settled on a woodwind instrument as the next one to pick up. Kat credits her past life’s experiences with flute, lute and virginal, and the wonders of internet for her ability to teach herself. She is even considering whether going for it more seriously. Well, not that she isn’t taking it seriously now, she spends long hours practicing, but more like...academically or professionally. They had various conversations about it, about her maybe joining a school or getting a degree or if she should just try to get a jig or something like that. Cathy won’t lie and say that their chats didn’t play a part in her proposing the musical idea, knowing that at least one of them had enough music knowledge and talent in this new life of theirs to pull it off, but she isn’t sure how much Kat had told the others so she doesn’t want to bring it up if Kat doesn’t.

While Catalina and Kat are looking thoughtful, and Anne interested, Jane and Anna still look unconvinced.

‘We can always ask for professional help.’ Cathy concedes. ‘But we should be the one deciding what to say. That’s the whole point. Let’s just try writing something. Ideas. What we want people to know. Type of music. Inspirations. Then we can see what we have and go from there.’

‘What are you proposing exactly?’

‘Let’s try to write a song each.’

They all agreed on going in order but now Catalina is deeply regretting it. Because she has to stand up in front of the others and tell them that she doesn’t have her song ready. She has been dreading the meeting. She knows she doesn’t have to be perfect all the time in this life lest something terrible happens. She knows she _can’t_ be perfect all the time. But she still feels uncomfortable showing any kind of weakness. Especially in front of her fellow queens. And the only one whom she allowed herself to be vulnerable with is not currently there. Katherine had texted the group chat saying that she was on her way but was going to be late. Indeed, the catching up part is now over and all the attention shifts to Catalina.

‘So...’ Queens do not fidget. That has been drilled into her and any instinct to do it eradicated centuries ago, which is the only reason she is not fidgeting as everyone looks at her. ‘I have some words,’ she doesn’t dare to call them lyrics, ‘but I don’t really have anything music-wise.’

‘I do!’ Kat bursts into the room, panting. ‘Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.’

‘You do?’

Kat smiles at Catalina sheepishly. ‘I had some ideas when you showed me what you wrote and thought I’d try them out. I wanted it to be a surprise, but not like this. I was planning to let you listen to it first, but I sort of just finished it? That’s why I was late. Of course, you don’t have to like it. Or listen to it at all. You know what? Let’s forget about it. I’m sure you’ll come up with something much better yourself and you don’t need-’

‘Breathe.’ Catalina waits until she sees the girl taking a couple of deep breaths, short-winded both from running there and then her ramblings. ‘Let’s hear my song.’

‘Are you sure? Because-’

‘I trust you.’ She does. Katherine has talent, she knows it better than anyone else. She is the one witnessing the ease with which she picks up new instruments or how she can play music by ear after listening to it a handful of times. The one who has the privilege to listen to her playing and singing around the house (and now she knows why lately it had happened less, if Katherine had been working on the song for her). But most importantly she trusts her because Katherine knows her. Better than anyone else. She knows her tastes, musical ones included. And she knows her story. Her side of the story.

Katherine takes out her laptop. ‘It’s quite rough, obviously. And the key is-’

‘Just let us hear it.’

Kat nods. She looks down at the papers full of scribbles in front of her. Takes a breath. Then starts the music.

_You must agree that, baby, in all the time I’ve been by your side_   
_I've never lost control, no matter how many times I knew you lied_   
_Have my golden rule_   
_Got to keep my cool, yeah, baby_

_And even though you've had your fun_   
_Running around with some pretty young thing_   
_And even though you've had one son_   
_With someone who don't own a wedding ring_   
_No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word_   
_No, baby_

Katherine looks at Catalina to gauge her reaction at the first part of the song. She has a small smile and she is nodding to the rhythm. Encouraging.

_I've put up with your sh- like every single day_   
_But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say_

It’s Katherine’s spin on Catalina’s words. She isn’t sure she will want to leave the ‘swear’ in, but she just had to do it and try. She knows it’s not something people would expect from the first queen, but she had in mind the Catalina she knows rather than the one people think they know. And her Catalina is not shy about swearing as long as they are alone.

_You must think that I'm crazy_   
_You wanna replace me, baby there's_   
_N-n-n-n-n-n-no way_   
_If you think for a moment_   
_I'd grant you annulment, just hold up, there's_   
_N-n-n-n-n-n-no way_

She had needed something to make the tempo works, and then she had remembered Catalina calling Anne babe during the last meeting, and she decided to try it out. Also it makes for a slightly condescending tone towards Henry, calling him baby, which Katherine likes and thinks Catalina will do too.

_So you read a bible verse that I'm cursed_   
_'Cause I was your brother's wife_   
_You say it's a pity 'cause quoting Leviticus_   
_"I'll end up kiddy-less all my life"_   
_Well, daddy, weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary?_

That had been a struggle to work out, but Katherine had really wanted to include it because it was so important. The reason Henry adduced seeking the annulment was completely unfounded and people had to know it.

_You're just so full of sh-, must think that I'm naive_   
_I won't back down won't shh, and no, I'll never leave_

_You must think that I'm crazy_   
_You wanna replace me, baby, there's_   
_N-n-n-n-n-n-no way_   
_If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's_   
_No way_

Catalina doesn’t seem to hate it and the others are nodding along to the beat, Katherine notices as she looks up from her notes. There will be work to be done for sure, but maybe they have a good starting point.

‘Dance break?’ Katherine speaks up as the music continues.

‘You always loved a good dance.’ Anne points out, remembering her time at court with her, Jane nodding along.

It’s true. What they don’t know is that she had taken it up again. Encouraged by Katherine pursuing her love for music, she had decided to do the same with her passion for dancing. It’s not something she could see herself doing seriously as Katherine does with playing instruments, but she is loving attending classes and practicing on her own in the privacy of their living room, sometimes making up new routines, sometimes involving Katherine when she needs a partner.

_You got me down on my knees_   
_Please tell me what you think I've done wrong_   
_Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along_   
_If you can just explain a single thing_   
_I've done to cause you pain, I'll go_   
_No?_   
_You've got nothing to say?_   
_I'm not going away_

_You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life_

Catalina had considered herself married and the legitimate queen until her last days…and Katherine with her. It’s only recently that she had considered how her life would have been different – if at all – had she joined Anne’s household like her step-grandmother had been planning. She is quite sure that at the time she would have been less than happy to be around the ‘usurper’ of what she still thought of as her queen, even months after her death.

_There's no way_   
  


‘Not sure about the end. Maybe another chorus? Or...I don’t know. Like I said, it’s quite rough, I rushed it a bit, especially the last part, I can think about it more and see-’

‘This is rough?!?’

‘Well...yeah? I just took what she wrote and tried to put it in music, but it could be so much better. Like harmonies! Or, you know, add stuff, take it out...change it completely if you don’t like it.’ She is now talking to Catalina.

‘Some bits and bobs, but honestly? I loved it.’

‘Really?’

‘Do I make a habit to say things I don’t mean?’ Catalina looks at her with a raised eyebrow. She shakes her head with a smile at the mumbled sorry she gets.

‘How did you do it?’ Anne interrupts the exchange. ‘Like, the backing track?’

‘Oh. Well, I recorded each instrument separately. Then overlapped the individual tracks. Which was honestly the hardest part. Learning how to use the software.’

‘Would you mind giving me a hand?’ Anne asks her cousin. ‘Once I have the lyrics down, I mean. I’ve been messing around with a keyboard and got myself a guitar, but it was going to be a stripped-down version, like, acoustic, with whatever it worked better for the song. But if you can do the other instruments and put everything together...’

‘Of course! Just let me know what you need and when!’ 

‘I might look into some practice rooms. Possibly with instruments. I’ve been dying to get my hands on some drums!’

‘Me too!’

‘Really?’ Catalina hopes her dread isn’t too obvious. She isn’t going to stop her, but she isn’t looking forward to it, if she has to be honest.

‘It’s not going to happen, don’t have the space. Or soundproofing.’ Kat reassures her.

‘We can learn together!’

‘I have been thinking...about a possible structure.’ Cathy says, encouraged by the enthusiasm of the cousins. ‘We said one song each, then I’m thinking maybe one for introduction and one as conclusion? An introductory song to explain what we’re doing? And one last song so that we don’t end with my song. Kind of a final message? About us reclaiming our stories or something?’

‘We could sing them all together!’

‘Oh!’ Kat perks up at Anna’s words. ‘We could add some chorus and stuff in Catalina’s song, like backup singers?, so that it’s not just her singing and us waiting around-’

‘Wait. Her. US? Are we supposed to sing ourselves?’ Jane stops her.

‘I thought so?’ Kat looks around. Jane does the same. It does seem like that’s what the others thought too.

‘Let’s worry about that later.’ Cathy can see that Jane is not particularly convinced about that, but she doesn’t want her to worry about it now. ‘We can get professional singers just like we can get professional writers, if needed.’

‘Another thing…not sure if it’s relevant now, because Kat sort of already did it. But I was going to say that we should make it modern?’ Anna suggests. ‘If it’s just a history lesson, it’s gonna be boring. Not saying that Catalina’s song was boring. At all. But. I don’t know. It’s something I wanted to bring up before hearing it, so...’ she shrugs.

Upon Catalina’s suggestion, they agree on not having set deadlines for when a queen is supposed to deliver her song. It had stressed her out quite a lot having to come up with something by a fixed date, especially when she couldn’t. And without a delivery deadline, Kat would have had the time to show her what she was doing, and they could have worked on it together. They are going to do it now, so it’s not that much a problem, but there is no reason they have to do things in a hurry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, this story started as something and turned out into so much more…including a take on how the musical was born. I always love reading fics about it…guess it was inevitable I’d take my shot at it too.   
> I don’t know much about music and I’m aware that’s probably not how writing a musical works…but this is fiction so...yeah.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Anne announces she is ready to present a first version of her song, everyone is quite curious to see what she cooked up.

‘I thought about what Anna and Kat said last time. About making it modern…and have everyone involved.’ Anne explains as Kat once again sets up her laptop. ‘So Kat is doing the chorus, which would be your parts.’

_Grew up in the French Court_ _  
__Oui, oui, bonjour_

Laughter immediately follow the exaggerated French accent coming from the queen who speak the language as fluently and perfectly as her native one.ù

_All the British dudes, lame_

Catalina and Anna share a look as Kat chimes in with ‘epic fail’. They had bonded over being shipped to a foreign country not knowing a single word of English to marry some random dude...They are not going to have problems singing that part like they mean it.

_(Ooh)  
I wanna dance and sing  
(Politics)  
Not my thing  
_

Catalina barely restrains a snort. Definitely her thing.

_(You sent him kisses)  
I didn't know I would move in with his missus  
(What?)  
Get a life  
(You're living with his wife?)_

Kat is extremely convincing at acting shocked at Anne’s actions and then clearly uncomfortable at the next verse, looking down at her feet.

_(Ooh)  
Don't be bitter  
(Ooh)  
'cause I'm fitter  
(Ooh)  
_ _Why hasn't it hit her?  
He doesn't want to bang you  
Somebody hang you_

‘Do you really have to use that language?’ Jane asks after they have all complimented Anne for her song.

‘What? Bitch?’ It’s quite clear to everyone that Anne is trying to rile Jane up. ‘If Catalina can say shit, why can’t I say bitch?’

Both Catalina and Anna nod at Anne’s words. Jane sends her a not-impressed look. She knows she is now repeating that word on purpose now, just to annoy her.

‘They don’t actually say it. Neither of them.’ Kat points out, raising her eye for the first time since half-way through the song, but still avoiding looking at Catalina.

'Moving on,’ Jane concedes, ‘while I technically understand all the words, there are some parts I don’t really...what xo means?’ Unlike Anne, Anna and Kat, Jane had not immediately taken to modern pop culture. At the moment she is trying to understand memes, much to the others’ amusement. They even have a group chat just devoted to sending her memes and gifs to see what she thinks they are and then explaining them. Most of the time Jane regrets having joined the chat and she would just abandon it if she didn’t know that they would add her back in immediately…and also that it’s all good-natured teasing.

‘Hugs and Kisses. Like, if you text someone and you sign off with xo it stands for that. X for kisses and O for hugs.’

'Aaah-’ Jane nods. That makes sense. That’s why Kat followed that line with ‘you sent him kisses’. ‘What about x-rated? It's kisses related too?’

‘In a way.’ Anne guffaws.

‘When something has a x rating, it’s because it’s very explicit. For adults only.’

The others look mildly amused at her innocence and Cathy’s explanation, but Anna is sure Jane will be uncomfortable once she realises. ‘Sex, Jane.’ She cuts it short.

‘You know what?’ Jane’s face is aflame. ‘If you give me the words, I’m going to look them up for myself.’

‘Can I talk to you for a second?’ Jane stops Kat as the meeting wraps up.

‘Want me to wait for you?’ Catalina asks.

‘If you don’t mind.’ Kat sends her a smile, before turning her attention to Jane.

‘I wanted to ask if you could help me out with my song. You wrote Catalina’s, right?’

‘Well, she wrote the words, I just played around, adjusted some bits and added others, you know, for rhymes and rhythm, and stuff like that.’

‘It’s just that...I know what I want to say, but words have never been my strong suit.’ Jane admits self-consciously. ‘If you could help me with that too. And the music. Obviously. To use Anne’s words. Not my thing.’ Jane smiles self-deprecatingly.

‘I would love to!’ Kat smiles encouragingly. ‘Have you thought about what type of sound are you lookin...’ she trails off seeing the slight panic on her face. ‘Why don’t you just make a list of singers and songs that you like? And that you’d like your song to...well, not be similar, but you know?’

Jane nods. That she gets. They agree on meeting up soon to start working on the lyrics and that meanwhile Jane will send Kat songs to get inspirations for the music part.

‘Everything okay?’ Catalina asks as they fall into step.

Kat hesitates for brief second. She will know anyway once she starts spending a lot of time out of the house with Jane, just like she did while working on Anne’s song. Probably even more. And the others will find out when they present it. Make no sense to keep it secret. ‘She just wanted to ask for my help with her song.’ 

‘What about you?’ Kat asks after a bit, noticing the expression on Catalina’s face. ‘Are you upset about Anne’s song? I’m really sorry about...well, you know what part.’

‘Did you write it?’

‘No!’

‘Exactly.’ Catalina had noticed how uncomfortable the girl had looked and how she had avoided eye contact with her pretty much up until they had finished the meeting and she had spoken to her directly, asking whether she should wait for her or not. ‘Besides, she says it herself, she didn’t really mean it.’

‘Then what is it?’

‘Are you okay with all the...losing your head jokes?’

‘Not really bothered to be honest.’ Kat shrugs. She had time to get used to Anne joking about it and she can see the appeal. She had mentioned it to Cathy, who said something about using humour to cope with trauma and grief. ‘But I know it’s not that. What’s on your mind?’

Catalina sighs. Sometimes having someone knowing you backfires. And Kat does know her. Perhaps a little too well. ‘I know that she is playing around a lot. The “just want to have fun” vibe. The slang. Playing up the airhead persona. Blatantly lying about the politics thing.’ She shakes her head. Everyone who knows about Anne Boleyn will know that is not true. ‘But that line about her father...’ she trails off. She never really considered the role family politics might have played into the whole affair. She always assumed it had been all Anne.

‘That’s something you should ask her.’ Kat says after a beat. Her loyalty will always be to Catalina, but they are not pitted against each other anymore. She loves Anne as well and won’t betray her confidence. And this is a perfect example of why, at the time, which now feels like ages ago, she had requested not to be asked about the other queens, but for everyone to take it up with the person in question. ‘Just because you’re my mom it doesn’t mean rules don’t apply to you.’ Kat winks at her cheekily in an effort to lighten up the mood. Rationally she knows Catalina won’t be upset and will respect her wish not to talk about it. But she can’t help feeling like she is letting her down, disappointing her.

‘I’m proud of you.’

'Why?’

Because she is still caring and sweet despite everything and everyone? Because she never hesitates to use her talents to help others? Because she knows that the little girl who served her and whose priority was to please her is still very much present in Kat, no matter how many times she tells her that she is her daughter now, not her attendant, but here she is, in a way, standing up to her, to protect Anne’s privacy?

Kat sounds genuinely confused and it breaks Catalina’s heart. Every. Single. Time. She will keep telling her until one day Kat’s reaction won’t be surprise and incredulity.

‘I’d need a third lifetime to list all the reasons. But I’m always proud of you.’ Catalina slips her hand so that she is holding the crook of Kat’s elbow, now walking arm in arm. ‘Siempre, querida, siempre.’

When it comes to Jane’s turn, the set-up is a bit different. Upon Jane’s request, Kat is going to play the keyboard instead of having a track playing on her laptop. Despite Kat’s encouragement, Jane still doesn’t feel fully confident...especially about some parts of her song. More than once she suggested to take those out, afraid of chocking or freezing when singing in front of other people. Since when they had practiced with Kat on the keyboard, if Jane changed anything, the younger girl had been able to adapt the music on the spot...they had agreed that Kat will play and follows Jane’s lead, if she decides not to go full-out.

‘I’m sorry...you were the one worried about us singing ourselves??’ Anne breaks the silence that had settled as Jane’s song winded down.

‘Yes, girl!’ Anna agrees. ‘That’s some set of pipes.’

‘We might actually have a problem finding people who can sing that. Between you and Catalina...’ Cathy joins in. The new version of the first queen’s song had some new lines, minor changes and tweaks. And lots of riffing, with Catalina fully making the song hers while Kat had sung the added choruses.

‘I was surprised myself.’ Jane admits bashful at the praises. ‘We went through...scales?’ she looks at Kat to make sure she is saying it right.

‘Yes, I wanted to find her vocal range. See what was within her natural reach, how high she could get…and she kept going up and up.’ Kat nods with a laugh, remembering the scene and how shocked they had both been when they realised the potential of Jane’s voice. Once Kat heard her, she knew she simply had to include some whistle notes.

‘I think some vocal training would be good.’ Anne raises her hands at the looks she receives. ‘I don’t mean it like that. I already said that! Just...one thing is doing _that_ once. Another is doing it repeatedly and consistently…and doing it well.’

‘She has a point.’ Everyone who had ever taken vocal lessons agree.

‘It’s like with playing an instrument or dancing. You might have talent, but you need to cultivate it. Study. Practice. Train.’

‘Talking about dancing,’ Catalina starts, ‘what do we think about choreographies? Jane’s song doesn’t lend itself, but I have some ideas for mine.’

Kat looks at her, raised eyebrow and amused expression on her face. Some ideas? She basically has choreographed half of the song already.

The exchange is missed as Anne exclaims. ‘Me too!’

Jane groans. ‘Not that too. I just solved one problem.’

‘Please,’ Anna scoffs good-natured at her, ‘next thing we know you’ll be popping and locking like a pro.’

‘I have no idea what you just said.’ Jane deadpans.

Anne and Catalina are still staring at each other. Kat and Cathy look from one to the other. The first two queens were both renowned, among a lot of other things, for being accomplished and skilful dancers. Things had gone quite smoothly so far, but they learned during their cohabitation to never underestimate what could start a squabble…or worse.

‘So,’ Anne clears her throat, suddenly awkward, ‘team up?’

Catalina ponders in silence a bit longer. ‘You know what? Why not!’

She doesn’t miss the relieved looks on the last two queens’ faces, before they turn to each other with excited grins. She supposes that her girl is happy that she is trying to get along with her cousin, whom she got even closer since they worked on Anne’s song together, and Cathy is probably happy with how her project is taking shape, and that others besides her (and Kat) are showing initiative. And both are probably happy that a potential quarrel had been avoided. The last two queens had been the ones most uncomfortable when discussions would happen at the household. 

‘Anyone has anything else to add before we adjourn the meeting?’

‘Ohh, so profesh!’ Anne teases Cathy.

‘I actually have.’ Kat speaks up. ‘I thought about your idea of having an intro song...what if we make it about what we are known for?’ 

‘Oh. Like, this is what you think you know about us. Then bam! We have our songs that rewrite the whole history.’ Anna picks it up immediately.

‘Making it…her-story,’

Everyone turns to look at Jane, who appears very proud of her pun. Kat is the one who reacts first. Having spent long hours with her cousin while writing her song, she has come to know her love for puns and – usually lame – jokes. She whips out her pen to scribble something down on her pink notebook, before raising her head again. ‘But yes, Anna, that’s exactly what I meant.’

‘That makes sense.’ Anne nods.

‘We should include that stupid rhyme.’ Kat muses aloud. ‘You know, divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived...wait. Wait.’ she raises one hand as to silence the others while with her other hand she is busy writing on her notebook.

‘We are waiting.’ Catalina informs her, tone amused. ‘Not sure what for, though.’

Kat doesn’t reply until she stops writing. She gives a long look at the words she penned. ‘What about. 

_I'm done 'cause all this time_   
_I've been just one word_   
_In a stupid rhyme_

‘We could use that as an actual intro!’ Anne lights up. ‘Like. Divorced and Catalina enters. Beheaded and I do. And so on.’

‘I haven’t started to think about that song at all.’ Cathy admits. She is slowly putting together her own. There is so much she wants to say and not much time…in a song. Sometimes she wishes she had less time to write, that she was not the last queen, because then she would have to take what she got and present it, instead of agonizing over every single word and whether there is a better one to use. ‘But just like this, on the spot...I think that stupid rhyme,’ she sends a smile to Kat, ‘could also work as refrain?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't quote me on that, but I think I might be halfway through this story.


	5. Chapter 5

‘Does this mean that I’m finally going to see you at home again?’ Catalina asks as they are once again walking back home.

‘Ehh,’ Kat grimaces a bit, ‘I’m helping Anna.’

She knows from their previous life together that Anna never learnt how to play any instrument. She could dance well enough and Kat had fond memories of that, and she had a lovely voice albeit clearly not trained, since she had been raised with the concept that music education was not proper for a noblewoman. Anna didn’t even have to say anything out loud. She just asked her when she was free to meet, the reason implicit yet understood by both.

‘That’s fine.’ Catalina bumps her hip against Kat’s. She doesn’t want her to feel bad for spending time with her friend. Friends. Family. Fellow queens. Whatever. But she misses having her around the house. ‘Just don’t forget about your old mother.’

‘You’re not old!’

Catalina would lie if she said that her heart didn’t skip a beat, dreading the last word would be two instead...my mother.

‘Anyway!’ Catalina knows from the tone that Kat is trying to distract her, probably having noticed her mood falling slightly. Perceptive kids these days!

‘I was talking with Cathy...do you think that us getting a PhD in history, Tudor history, would be cheating?’

‘Cathy, uh?’ Probably not the part Kat wanted her to focus on, but a mother has to take her fun where she can.

‘What?’ Kat is confused at first, before turning her head and seeing the look on the older woman’s face. ‘It's not like that.’

‘Okay.’ Catalina immediately accepts the answer. Not being believed is something that at best deeply upsets Kat and at worst triggers panic attacks. She doesn’t have all the details, Kat is reticent to talk about her life after Catalina’s death if not in broad general terms and Catalina has never forced the issue. She knows Kat would tell her, Kat said it herself. But every time she offers, she looks so dejected that she always refuses. But it doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots and blame Henry. It had been on her mind a lot, especially after Anne’s song and her talk with her. Whether Kat’s experience had been similar to her cousin, besides the ending, or not. Catalina isn’t sure she wants to know, to be honest. ‘But if it was...it’d be okay, you know.’

Kat shrugs, a subtle hunch in her shoulder. That won’t do. Catalina puts an arm around her shoulders and draws her in, kissing her temple. ‘Want to get a slice of cake to celebrate you writing yet another brilliant song?’ She said her piece. Short, sure, but that’s all she wants Kat to know. All the rest doesn’t matter. She’ll be there if Kat will ever want to revisit the topic again.

Right from the start it’s clear that Anna has decided to go for a modern take too. Music is once again streaming from Kat’s laptop, the young queen snapping her fingers as her predecessor sings.

_Where my hounds at? Release the bitches  
(Woof)_

Anne claps her hands, howling with laughter at Kat’s first venture into the song, which will also be all the other queens’ part. Jane shakes her head, rolling her eyes. Say one thing once and they will forever use it against you. She is ready to bet that Kat’s song will also include a swear word, just disguised enough that you can argue it’s not really swearing.

  
_Lookin’ cute,_

_(Das ist gut)_

_All eyes on me,_

_(No criticism)_

_I look more rad than_

_(Lutheranism)_

_Dance so hard that I’m causing a sensation._

_Okay, ladies, let’s get in reformation._

Anne is hollering, quickly followed by Cathy and, to everyone’s surprise but Kat’s, Catalina. Religion puns and Beyonce reference deserve a holler, queenly composure be damned.

Kat shoots a beaming smile at Anna. The fourth queen had been worried about her song not measuring up to the others, but the reactions are proving her wrong. She actually gets a standing ovation as the last ‘I’m the queen of the castle’ fades away.

‘Have you thought about choreography?’

‘Not really.’

‘Can I?’ Catalina exchanges a look with Anne. ‘Can we?’

Anna looks at the first two queens, both almost vibrating for the excitement. ‘Sure.’

Anne whoops and Catalina looks like she is one step away from doing the same. ‘It’s going to be glorious.’

‘Before we lose those two,’ they do look like they are ready to bolt, eager to start working on Anna’s song, ‘can I point out the,’ Cathy stops to look for the right word, ‘whiplash of going from Jane’s song to this. Both songs are amazing just…quite a different vibe?’

‘What about having an interlude? We would have three songs, well four with the intro. Interlude. Other three songs. Conclusion.’ Catalina proposes, her head seemingly back in the game and not on the dance anymore.

Cathy looks at Kat. They had sort of taken the lead on how to structure the musical…and Kat on writing the songs, having a hand in all of them so far. ‘We can give it a try.’

‘Also,’ Anne seems to be back among them too, ‘was that a Tinder reference?’

‘What’s Tinder?’ Jane sees the mirth on Anne’s face. ‘Wait. Do I actually want to know?’

The whole process is going surprisingly smoothly. Sure, it has been months, but considering they have no experience whatsoever with writing musicals, having 4 songs (out of 8 planned) mostly hashed out is impressive, in Cathy’s humble opinion. And that’s not even taking into consideration them being 16th-century queens reincarnated in the 21st century figuring out the modern world...and how to get along.

Unexpectedly, since she has been the one moving everything along, it’s with Kat’s turn that the smooth process comes to a halt.

‘Why the change? Not that I mind.’ Catalina specifies. Katherine had requested them to show up at a different location instead of the usual one. This one is more like a proper recording studio, with a live room with mics and instruments and a separate control room. ‘You know we have no idea how to use all of this, right?’ she jokes, gesturing to the mixing equipment. She frowns when Kat doesn’t even attempt to give her a smile at that.

‘I need you to be in another room. I know you will hate the song and-’

‘Impossible.’ Catalina scoffs.

‘I’m sure we will love it.’ All the others have joined them, and they chime in, agreeing with Jane. She has helped them all, whether with music or lyrics or both, and it is evident to everyone, even to Cathy, the only who still hasn’t worked with her, that she has a way with music.

‘No, you won’t.’ Kat is not looking for reassurance. She has no doubt about it. ‘It’s already going to be hard. If I have to worry about your reactions too...I can’t do it with you in the room. All of you.’ She had just recently managed to go through the whole song without having a major breakdown before the end.

While the first three queens appear confused, Cathy and Anna share a look. Having lived through Katherine’s reign as queen, they are the only ones with some knowledge about her past. They even had a brief conversation about it, not wanting to betray Kat’s confidence or their ‘vow’ not to look into each other’s past, but also needing to share their thoughts with someone who could understand them. Their conclusion had been easy: even if the charges levied against her had been true, which is not a given, as Anne’s example shows, considering her age she would have been a victim and not the temptress she had been portraited as.

‘Kat.’ Cathy takes a step towards her.

‘Please.’ Kat raises her hands in front of her. ‘Don’t.’

Cathy stops, nodding, slightly dejected, Anna laying a hand on her shoulder.

Catalina had noticed Kat was worried, but she didn’t think it had reached this point. And she doesn’t know what to make of Anna and Cathy’s solemn expressions. ‘Why don’t you show us and let us decide?’ She tries to encourage her daughter with a smile.

So that’s what she does.

_All you wanna do  
All you wanna do, baby  
And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild _

Kat had decided to use a backing track while playing the keyboard. She hopes that having to focus on playing and singing at the same time (and actually breathing, if things go as they went during her previous practices), she will be physically unable to think about the other queens being on the other side of the glass listening to her song (she angles herself so that her back is to the window and she is also physically unable to see them, even if she were tempted to look).

_He just cares so much, he's devoted  
He says we have a connection _

Her voice breaks and by the time she reaches the last chorus she is sobbing and hyperventilating. The effort required to finish the song definitely takes her mind off the others’ reactions…but everything comes crashing down as soon as the last note resonates.

She bows her head, shoulder shaking, hands frozen on the keys. She takes deep breaths, trying to calm down. Once she has it under control, or as much as possible in the situation, she pushes herself up. Time to face the music. Or not. What if she opens the door and they had left? They wouldn’t do that...right? Her...Catalina would not do that, right? She told her she would never be disappointed in Kat…but she never knew the truth...

But what if they are still there and are...disappointed? Angry? Ashamed of her? Would that be better? Or worse? One way or another, she has to know. And regardless, she has to leave the room sooner or later. It would only be delaying the inevitable.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: In Plato’s words, I know that I know nothing. It doesn't stop me from writing. As always this is fiction and what I write is what suits the narrative and story I want. 
> 
> Also I feel like there are a lot of expectations about this one…not sure I met them, but this is what I got.

For all the scenarios Katherine had thought of, her song putting a halt to the musical writing process had not been one of them. She doesn’t notice at first. Cathy’s song is the next one and she just assumes she is taking her time with it. She knows how careful the writer is when choosing her words (picky, Anne had teased her while telling them how long it took Cathy to decide on what to write on Kat’s birthday card). So it takes Kat a while to realise that Cathy never brings up the musical anymore. None of them do.

Their reactions to the song had been...strong. They have all come to care deeply about the youngest queen (and each other in general) and hearing what she went through...Rage does not do justice to what they felt...among many other feelings.

Catalina’s legs had given away beneath her halfway the first verse, a strangled noise alerting Anna, who had lunged forward and had barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground. Then Catalina had literally used her friend’s body to support herself and climb back to her feet. Anna had not minded, the contact grounding her. Even somehow knowing what to expect, it did not make listening to it any easier. So she had stood there, an arm loosely around Catalina’s shaking frame, ready to hold her up if need be.

As Katherine concluded her song, all you could hear in the control room were muffled sobs from all the queens. Until the girl stood up.

‘Get yourself together.’ Catalina had hoarsely growled. ‘It’s not about you.’

Cathy had not been sure if she had been talking to them or to herself. If she had to be honest, she had not expected such a visceral reaction from her. From Kat’s cousins, maybe, but not from Catalina. And not because she cared less or anything like that. Anyone spending some time with them could easily tell that Catalina loved Kat. Just…in a different way compared to Anne or Jane or even herself and Anna. Almost…maternal. Which makes sense if Cathy thinks about it. Catalina had been the only one of them who got to be a mother. And Kat was the youngest queen, in the past and also now that they came back, even if not by much (Cathy herself was just a few years older). But the first queen had always strived to maintain a certain degree of composure, even around them, while Anne and Jane had been more open with their emotions. For Catalina to let go, to let them see her so raw and exposed…

As soon as Kat had stepped into the room, Catalina had engulfed her in a tight hug. When Anne had tried to step in, she had immediately recoiled at the glare she had received. But after a while, with no sign of Catalina letting Kat go any time soon, Anne had given up on waiting for her turn, and just decided to try her luck and join the hug. With no protest forthcoming, it quickly became a group hug. 

They had made sure to make crystal clear to Kat their support and willingness to listen or do anything she might need them to do. But what resulted was also an unsaid agreement among them not to bring up the topic unless Kat did it first. Which included not bringing up the musical since her song is all about that and what started everything.

Everyone took it hard, but nobody took it harder than Catalina. She knew 13-year-old Katherine. She remembers 13-year-old Katherine as if it was yesterday. To know what happened to her. Because she left her. Before, she had thought her death had indirectly led to Katherine’s marriage and consequently her death. But now…To know that as soon as she left her, everything bad started to happen to the girl she considers a daughter...The nightmares, which had petered off, come back with a vengeance.

That’s the main reason it takes a while for Kat to realise she hasn’t really thought or talked about the musical since she presented her song: all her focus and energy are on Catalina. She is back at spending her nights at her side, after arguing that she would be awake in her room anyway, so at least they can be awake together. It takes its toll on their days too. Not just because they are tired from sleepless nights. The only reason Catalina can still face Katherine is that she knows how hurt she would be if she were to go back at avoiding looking at her like when she first arrived. Catalina’s guilt is overwhelming and colours every interaction.

They are both aware of how it is affecting their relationship and decide to take remedial actions before it becomes too much and ruins it permanently: they are going to therapy.

It is not the first time the topic comes up. It had been one of the suggestions on the online forums they had looked at when Catalina had decided that it was time to start to deal with what they deemed, for the sake of brevity, ‘the Mary issue’. They had found some support groups for families of offenders. Among the advice on how to come to terms with a loved one committing terrible crimes, a common one was therapy. Except that Catalina could not exactly talk about her daughter burning people at stake for religious dissent without A) breaking the NDA she signed about not revealing her true identity to the public B) likely being considered deranged. That’s also why she never attended any group in person, limiting herself to research, reading and self-help with Katherine’s support.

But now, that is not enough, and Catalina is willing to try anything to save their relationship (and she thinks Katherine might benefit from talking about her trauma, properly…and with a professional). They decide to ask their ‘handlers’ for recommendations, taking advantage of their help as long as they can before potentially pissing them off with their musical. Considering the NDAs they had signed, it is likely in their interest that they don’t go to a random therapist and spill the beans. Indeed, they get a handful of names of approved professionals who are used to work with people not always able to fully disclose their past, or even their present (they didn’t get details, but their guess is something like witness protection or law enforcement) and thus won’t question weird gaps and omissions in patients’ histories.

They do some research and choose a practice with multiple therapists, all women, with different specialisations. The first meeting is with a senior partner who will get the laydown and decide whom, among the associates, refer them to.

‘My name is Doctor Sonya Newton, I’m going to ask you some questions to assess the issues and decide the best way to move forward, okay?’ the doctor starts after the prospective patients sit down. ‘It is important that you are as truthful and open as you can. If you don’t wish to answer, say so and we’ll move on, but please don’t lie. Lying will only, at best, undermine our efforts and at worst hurt them...or you. You are free to leave at any point, to decide that you don’t wish to continue, to look for another practice, again – I can’t stress this enough – at any point. We are here to help you, and if it’s not working for you…well, what is the point then?’

She waits for a response, and only after she gets a pair of tense nods, she moves on. ‘Now that ground rules are done. Let’s start with the basics. Can you tell me your name and your relationship with each other?’

‘My name is Katherine and I’m her-’ she hesitates.

‘Daughter. She is my daughter and I’m Catalina, her mother.’

The doctor scribbles something down. She didn’t miss the hesitation in Katherine’s answer nor the glance she sent the older woman, but neither she missed the elated look when Catalina took over and replied.

‘Who did decide to come?’ It’s the following question.

‘We both did.’ This time is Katherine who answers for both, Catalina nodding in agreement.

‘That’s good. When both parties are willing to put in the work…the first step is half the journey.’ Sonya smiles at them. ‘What are you hoping to get from these sessions?’

‘There are some...issues that are affecting our relationship and we realised we needed help to deal with them properly.’

‘That’s also good. Recognising there is a problem is the first step and doing something about it is the best second one.’ Catalina’s reply gets another approving nod from the doctor. ‘What do you think those issues are?’

They share a look, a response not coming as quickly as the previous ones.

‘Let me ask a different question. What do you hope the other will get from this?’

‘I hope she’ll realise that what happened to me was not her fault. She literally could not do anything about it. She feels guilty for stuff that was completely out of her control. I’ve never blamed her, not then, not now, and I wish she could see it.’

Sonya hums. She had not expected Katherine to take the lead. It is shaping up to be an interesting and perhaps rather unusual dynamic.

‘What about you?’

‘I know she feels guilty for me feeling guilty.’ It’s basically a self-feeding circle. Catalina feels guilty for what happened to Kat leading to nightmares and her instinctively trying to distance herself from the girl. Kat feels guilty that Catalina is suffering again from nightmares because of her, despite it not being her fault, and she is hurt because of the distancing. Which leads Catalina to feel even more guilty because she is hurting her. ‘But actually, the thing I really want is...for her to feel confident and secure in my love. Stop living in fear of disappointing me, in fear I’ll leave her-’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know-’ Kat had not realised she knew. ‘I know you would not do that, I don’t want you to think that-’

‘I know. I got you back and I'm never letting you go. No matter what. There is nothing you could do that could make me love you any less. Especially not something that was not your fault. It just breaks my heart every time you look surprised at me being proud of you, or you second-guess calling yourself my daughter-’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was hurting you, I-’ Katherine starts again.

‘That’s what I mean.’ Catalina interrupts her gently but addressing the doctor. Then she turns to Kat again. ‘You’re not responsible for my feelings. Just like you’re not responsible for my nightmares.’

‘I have some points I’d like you to elaborate a bit more on, if you don’t mind.’ Sonya says looking at her notes after waiting for some moments to be sure they don’t wish to say more on the matter. ‘But first. Do you agree with what the other said about you?’

She gets twin resigned sighs and nods.

‘Okay.’ She jots something down. ‘Now. You both referred to something that happened and you were not at fault for. Can you tell me what those things are?’

Catalina defers to Katherine with a look clearly saying ‘that’s your call’.

The girl swallows. ‘Sexual abuse.’

‘Child sexual abuse.’ Catalina growls.

The doctor looks down at her notepad. No matter how long you have been on the job and how much horrible stuff you hear, it never gets easier. She takes a moment to digest it, before moving on because she has a job to do. 'Do you blame yourself for that, Katherine?’

‘No. I know it was not my fault. I was a child and even later, I didn’t really have a choice.’

‘And you were still a child.’

‘Can I ask how old you were?’

‘It started when I was 13.’

The doctor nods. The girl looks in her early twenties at most, so that was not such a long time ago, especially if it went on for a while.

‘Do you feel or ever felt that your mother would think it was your fault?’

‘No. Not that. Just...that...she’d be…disappointed? Ashamed? Lots of people didn’t believe me, you know. Or thought I deserved what I got. Went looking for it.’ She gets lost in the memories for a few moments. ‘But I never thought she’d be one of them. But I also knew that it was not what she had hoped for me.’

‘Of course, it was not.’ Catalina almost spats out. ‘I would not wish that on my worst enemy, of course I would not wish that for my child.’

‘I always wanted to make her proud.’

‘You do.’

‘And I struggle to believe that. She is right.’ Katherine admits, referring to what Catalina listed as the main issue she hoped therapy would help her with. ‘It’s just that I’ve always looked up to her. I know she is not perfect. She doesn’t have to be. Not with me.’ She sends her a pointed look. ‘Look. I don’t know.’ Her tone is slightly defeated. ‘I’m generally quite confident in lots of things...but I just...feel like I don’t deserve her? After my mother died, she has been the only one who ever truly and genuinely loved me for myself without ulterior motives. Some days it’s just hard to believe that she did. Does. Since nobody else ever did.’

Catalina clears her throat. ‘I know four people who would argue about that...’

‘Until recently, I guess.’ Katherine corrects herself, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips.

Sonya hums. ‘You mentioned your mother dying?’

‘I adopted her after we....reunited.’

‘That’s a lot to unpack.’ The doctor mumbles almost to herself as she keeps writing quickly on her notepad. ‘Am I correct in saying that you feel guilty about not stopping the abuse from happening?’

Catalina nods while Katherine mutters ‘Literally impossible.’

‘Can you give me some background? How did you meet? What happened...’

‘After her mother died, she was in my care,’ they had gone over what they could share and what not. Saying that Kat was taking care of Catalina would be strange, but the opposite made more sense and was expected, and it could explain their bond just like the truth would. ‘Then I had to-’

‘Leave.’

Catalina swallows and nods. That’s a way to put it. But she is glad that Kat did it for her...and like that. Her death is still a difficult topic for her. At first it had been more about the circumstances in which she died, but now, knowing what happened after...it’s even worse.

Sonya raises an eyebrow, as if to let them know she is aware that they are not telling the full story, but she nonetheless motions for them to continue.

‘I was sent to stay with some relatives. That’s where it started.’

‘Did you choose to leave?’ The doctor addresses Catalina.

‘No! It was,’ she takes a breath, ‘circumstances beyond my control.’

Sonya nods. It is not uncommon to know something rationally but emotionally still feeling guilty. ‘What happened after? Things seem to be better now...’

‘We were...brought back together.’ They beam at each other. ‘I officially adopted her.’

‘The last years had been the best of my life.’

The doctor can’t help smiling at the obvious happiness and love they radiate while talking about each other being together again. ‘Is there a specific reason you have decided to seek counselling now or is it just...right time, circumstances, things coming to a head now...’ she wonders.

‘Up until recently I had not shared what happened. Like, she knew how it ended, they all did. But not everything that came before.’

‘That’s a very brave thing to do. Sharing is never easy. Especially if you have done so in the past and have not been believed. And considering your fear of losing her love.’ She adds since that’s specific to her case. ‘Also I commend you for reaching out and looking for help. Both of you. Often admitting that you need help is the hardest step.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therapy now joins Spanish, writing and creating a musical, and adoption in the list of things I wrote about in this fic I know very little of.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortest chapter to date and it's a bit of a filler, but I hope it still works to move the story along and get them back on track.

At the end of the session, the doctor recommends both individual sessions for them to deal with personal issues and ones to attend together to work on their relationship.

Knowing they are getting back on track takes a weight off Kat’s mind. Mental and physical energy coming back to her, her attention soon turns to their musical project and she calls for a meeting.

‘I want you to be honest,’ Kat starts, ‘with me.’ she adds. Maybe they already had a talk with each other. ‘Is the musical something we’re not doing anymore? That’s totally fine,’ not really. She would be incredibly disappointed and sad. But it’s not like she is going to force them. ‘I just want to know.’

‘What?’ she asks after getting nothing but silence...and glances exchanged among the others.

‘Up until yours all the songs had been in good fun.’ Anne starts.

‘I wouldn't call Jane’s song funny.’ Kat points out.

‘Kat, you broke down singing. It’s clearly affecting you. I mean, obviously. But-’

‘We weren’t sure...not that it would be the right thing to do, but that...you’d still want to do it?’ Anna interrupts what was gearing up to be a typical Jane’s rambling.

‘Sharing something so personal and painful with the public.’ Cathy specifies.

‘I do. Still want to do it. And share my story. That’s sort of the point. Take control of the narrative. Telling the truth. My truth. And I want to break the silence, the shame, also for other girls, other people. Because it’s not our fault. And we can speak up. Speak loud. And there will be people believing and supporting us…just like you did with me.’

‘Okay.’

‘Okay?’ Kat looks around. It feels a bit anticlimactic after her spiel, but everyone seems to agree. ‘So we are officially back on track?’

‘Hell yeah!’

‘Anne!’ Jane’s scolding is more out of habit than anything else.

‘Cool. Because I have something for the first song and I would have hated to waste it.’

‘Way to make us feel bad.’ Anne mutters, winking at her cousin who replies sticking out her tongue.

‘Definitely back to normal.’ Catalina rolls her eyes, but a smile betrays her true feelings.

‘This could be the introduction part, the one about what people know, or think they know about us. If you like it, we can try and work out the rest of the song. Like introducing the concept of the musical and all of that. Or we can just scrap it and start from scratch. I won’t be offended, I promise.’

‘Wait. Now? You have it with you?’ Anna asks. Did she somehow miss Kat’s laptop bag?

‘It’s not even two minutes long, so I just have it on my phone.’ Kat shrugs. ‘We can do another time if you prefer. There is no rush.’

‘Now is perfect.’ Cathy smiles at her.

‘Absolutely.’ Catalina nods encouragingly. She had not noticed how much she had missed Kat messing about with her instruments, constantly humming as she creates or just singing around the house along with her latest fixation...Not until she started to fill the house with music again and Catalina had felt like a heavy fog had lifted.

Kat starts, the first two parts going down quite well with the respective queen.

_Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved_

‘Rude.’

‘Jinx!’ Anne cries out as she realises she and Catalina said it at the same time.

Kat makes mental note to add it to the song as something they all say, while continuing to sing.

‘I’m not sure I like it.’

Kat is taken aback for a second – that’s not what she expected to hear after she concluded Cathy’s part – before nodding with a small smile. She doesn’t want them to think that they can’t be honest with her because she will take criticisms personally. ‘Like I said, we can change it. What would you like your part to say? Unless you had in mind something completely different and that’s fine too. I don’t have the monopoly on this, you know.’ She hopes they do.

‘No, no, I like my part. Especially the see-more joke.’ That’s totally something Jane herself would say, so she appreciates Kat including it. ‘But…your part…’

Kat looks around and realises that everyone looks slightly uncomfortable. ‘Is it about the prick up your ears part?’

‘No. Although don’t think I didn’t notice you slipping that in.’ Jane sends her a fake glare. It has become a running joke, everyone but her having some kind of ‘swear’ word in their songs. Or their part of the song, in this case.

‘Then what-Oh.’ It dawns on her. Could it be something similar to what they had discussed with Catalina after one of their therapy sessions? How one of the things that made her mum uncomfortable the most in her song was how, up until the Henry part, she almost makes light of what happened to her with innuendos, jokes and upbeat music, seemingly presenting it as something positive and consensual while it was the complete opposite. 

‘That’s what I’m known for, unfortunately.’ Kat gives it a try. From the scowls she gets, she thinks she got it right. ‘But that’s the whole point of the musical, isn’t it? After my song they will know the truth. And that this,’ she picks up her phone, waving it a bit, ‘is not it.’

‘It’s your story. And your choice how you want to tell it.’ Catalina sends a look towards the others that is clearly a warning. ‘And if that makes people uncomfortable...too bad for them.’

There are definitely no objections after that, not that they had any after Kat’s explanation.

‘We got most of the songs figured out...but how is it going to work? I mean, a musical needs a story...or not?’ Jane asks. She is not an expert, but she did ask Kat for suggestions and had a good look at some after they had started planning their own.

‘Does it mean we need to include...him?’

‘Fuck no!’ Nobody reprimands Anne for her language. They all thought the same...pretty much in the same terms.

‘We could just do a concert? With eventual explanations in between?’ Catalina proposes. That would probably not be a musical but still get the job done?

As they contemplate the idea, Anna proposes, ‘What if we make it a competition?’

‘What about?’ Cathy asks, light frown on her brow. She is not ruling it out, but she is not sure what Anna meant with that.

‘Who was the most important?’

‘Not it!’

‘Same!’ Anna raises her hand to high-five Kat.

‘What could we compete about?’ Jane wonders aloud.

‘We don’t have that much in common...except being married to the same asshole who puts us through-’

‘That!’

‘Like who had to deal with more bullshit?’ Anne immediately catches on. 

‘Comparing ourselves?’ Cathy sounds unsure. ‘I really don’t' like the idea to be honest.’

‘It would obviously be fake.’ Kat reassures her.

‘Oh. It could be the message of the show!’


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last hurdle, I think...

‘Cathy?’ Kat asks as they are enjoying a drink at their favourite coffee shop. ‘Do you need any help with your song?’ It seems to be taking a long time, even by her perfectionist standards.

Cathy just gives her a loaded look.

‘It doesn’t have to be me. Anne can help too.’

‘No!’ Cathy’s response comes out sharp. ‘Sorry. No.’ She repeats, softer but no less resolute.

‘You know it doesn’t need to perfect. Just a first draft.’

‘That’s not the problem.’

‘So there _is_ a problem?’

Cathy doesn’t reply.

‘You can tell me anything.’

‘Can I?’ She sounds downcast.

‘Of course!’ Kat gives her an encouraging smile that turns into a frow when it is not reciprocated.

Cathy gives her another pondering, weighted stare, before quickly tapping on her phone and silently handing it to her.

Kat looks at the screen and starts reading what seems to be an article about Cathy and Elizabeth, if the title is to be believed.

‘Is it true?’ Kat asks, almost begging for a different answer that the one she knows she is going to get. Why else Cathy would have wanted her to read it?

She puts the phone on table at Cathy’s sharp nod, gingerly pushing it towards her.

‘I need...’ She stands up. ‘Yeah.’

Again, Cathy only nods, evading her eyes, head hung. Not an ounce of surprise, just resignation.

Kat walks home on autopilot. She hurls herself at Catalina as soon as she sees her, hugging her fiercely.

‘Hey,’ Catalina doesn’t hesitate one second to wrap her arms around her, ‘what happened?’ she was going to ask if she was okay, but that clearly isn’t the case.

Kat just hugs her tighter. Is this how Catalina feels knowing what happened to her?

‘Can I do anything?’ She feels Kat moving her head, she assumes she is shaking it since no words follow. ‘Did something happen with Cathy?’

‘Just...can you hold me?’

‘Always and forever.’ Catalina cradles her even closer, burying her face into Kat's hair. ‘I’m never letting you go.’

They move to the couch, after a while, not relenting their hold on each other, Catalina patiently waiting as Kat cries silently, rubbing her back.

‘Feel better?’ She asks after she hears Kat starting to sniffle rather than crying.

‘No.’

‘Can I help?’ She asks again. It breaks her heart to see her girl like this.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Kat says after a while, voice hoarse and cracking, sitting up a bit. ‘I need you not to ask questions. Just give me your...advice? Opinion?’

‘That I can do.’ Catalina nods, tenderly wiping away tears from Kat's cheeks.

‘If someone you liked...did something bad-’

‘Is this about Cathy?’

‘Mamá!’ If not for the situation, it would have been funny the look Kat sends her that clearly says ‘what did I just tell you??’

‘Sorry. Go on.’

‘That’s it. Pretty much. What do you do if someone did...hurt people,’ she swallows, ‘in the past. But still.’

Silence stretches on. Catalina is never one to talk without thinking, even in normal circumstances. Kat knows it, so she leans back against her mother, waiting.

‘Okay.’ Catalina takes a breath, ordering her thoughts. ‘Without having context? First thing I’d want to know...why? Why did they do that? Did they want to? Did they enjoy it? Was it on purpose? Look. Take Anne. She hurt me. A lot. I hated her for a long time. Now I sort of understand why she did what she did. I realise that it was not all her fault. And I forgave her. Doesn’t mean I forget what she did. Or that it doesn’t still hurt. But I forgave her. Not to say that you need to do that.’ she squeezes Kat to stress the point. ‘But usually understanding helps. In one way or the other. Also knowing if the person changed. If they feel remorse. Guilt. If they know they did wrong and apologise.’

‘But what if they hurt others, not you?’

‘Well, you sort of hated Anne on my behalf, didn’t you? Without ever meeting her. And then we came back, and you got to know her and now you don’t. Hate her, I mean. You love her. Look.’ Catalina hesitates, thinking about the best way to word it. ‘Every case is different. But as general advice, I would tell you that having as much info as possible, about the situation, the circumstances, might help. It did help me with Anne.’

It’s with that in mind that Kat meets up with Cathy. ‘I have questions.’

‘Anything you want to know.’ Cathy breaths out. It’s already more than she deserves or expected.

‘Why is Kat not here?’

‘She knows we’re meeting if that’s what you’re asking.’

Jane frowns. It is not what she was asking. But Cathy seems to be in a weird mood, dark face and sharp movements, so she doesn’t press.

‘I need to tell you something.’ Except she can’t bring herself to tell them, just like she couldn’t with Kat. So she hands all four of them a printed version of the article she had showed Kat.

‘How could you.’ Is all Anne can get out, silent tears of pain and rage trailing down her face, papers crumpled in her hands.

‘How can you look Kat in the eyes? Is that why she isn’t here?’

Cathy looks up from her hands at Anna, who is looking in her direction...but not at her, eyes focused just a bit to the left.

‘She is not here because there was no need to bring up bad memories again.’

‘You told her first.’ Catalina interrupts her.

‘Yes.’ Cathy confirms, forcing herself to look at Catalina’s disappointed face. ‘She was the one encouraging me to tell you.’

Silence.

‘I’m going to leave.’

All she gets is terse nods.

Catalina looks at the others. They are all shocked and speechless. She feels like it’s up to her to take the lead since she had...well, not an idea, since she would have never guessed in a million years that this was what had left Kat so shaken. Because she could have never imagined Cathy doing something like that. But she has an idea of what she can tell the others...

‘Did you know?’ Anne turns to Catalina as Anna and Jane leave.

‘Of course not!’

‘You sure? Had a speech ready, hadn’t you?’ she snarls. ‘And she is your goddaughter.’

‘Last I knew of her she was still married to her first husband.’ Not to mention that she died more than ten years before those upsetting events happened. ‘And we’re not that close. That would be Kat. And the speech? Is exactly what I told Kat.’ Catalina knows that Anne is not angry with her, she just needs an outlet. ‘I didn’t know what had happened. Kat had not wanted to say. Just asked what she should do if someone she liked had hurt people.’

‘She hurt Elizabeth.’ Anne mutters brokenly.

‘ _He_ hurt her.’ She feels like she needs to point out.

‘And she let him.’ she snaps.

‘Look. I’m not saying you need to forgive her. But I forgave you.’

‘That’s different.’

‘Why?’

‘She hurt my child.’

‘Because mine got away scot free, right?’ Catalina can’t help herself. ‘Ever thought that if I had stayed married, none of this,’ she gestures around with her hands, as to encompass everything, ‘would have happened?’

‘Are you saying this is all my fault?’

‘I. Did. Not. Say. That.’ she punctuates the words, wanting to make sure the message comes across. ‘Obviously, it was mostly overwhelmingly Henry’s fault. But for years I thought so. And then we talked. I learned your side of the story. Understood the whys and hows better. I now know that most of the hurt you caused me was not your intention. And while I’ll never forget it, I forgave you.’


	9. Chapter 9

‘Hey,’ Kat beams at her cousin, holding up two pints of ice-cream. ‘I come bearing gifts.’

Anne shakes her head with a small smile, but lets her in. She had not felt up to…pretty much anything, and especially not being around people, but she had missed her cousin.

‘Is it an intervention?’

‘What? Why?’ Kat takes off her jacket.

‘To get me back. For the musical.’

‘Screw that!’

‘Kat!’ That was not the reply Anne expected.

‘I mean, I’m here for you. You come first.’ Kat makes sure Anne is looking at her as she speaks, so that she can see the truth in her words. ‘I thought talking to someone might help? I know talking to Catalina helped me.’

‘Why didn’t you come to me?’

‘Well-‘

‘Forget it. Stupid question.’ Anne cuts her off. Of course, Kat didn’t. Not with Elizabeth involved.

‘Nobody is gonna blame you if you don’t want to go on. Just like no one did when you thought I didn’t want to do it anymore.’ Kat goes to the kitchen to grab two spoons. ‘I’d be sad, of course.’ She carries on coming back. ‘But more for us, as a group, than for the musical itself. We are your friends and we love you.’

She hands one spoon to Anne. ‘And before you say anything. Yes. Even Cathy.’

Anne scoffs. ‘She has weird ways to show it.’

‘She is your friend now.’ Kat stresses the last word. ‘Have you ever even met back then?’

‘How can you be so…’ Anne waves the spoon around as to encompass everything, unable to pick up just one word.

‘I had more time? And talking to her helped too.’

‘You still talk to her.’

‘Yes.’ It was not a question, but Kat still answers it.

‘How can you? After what she did. And what you went through.’

‘I’m not saying it was easy. Or immediate. When she told me...I just left. I could not look at her. I didn’t know what to do. What to think. I could not imagine Cathy...our Cathy, the Cathy I knew, letting something like that happen. Without doing anything.’

‘And talking to her helped?’ Anne lets out a disbelieving humph.

‘She knows what she did. We…she went through every single thing she did wrong. Could she have handled it better? Of course. How? Not sure to be honest. She was married to him. In love. Pregnant. And when she tells me that she had not realised how bad it was...I choose to believe her. And then she sent her away. Away from him. Where she could be safer. I wish someone did that for me too.’ Kat shakes her head. This is not about her. ‘And Elizabeth did not seem to hold it against her.’ With Cathy’s permission, she had looked things up, coming across some letters they had exchanged after Elizabeth had been sent away. ‘I’m not here to tell you how to feel. But I can tell you that one thing therapy taught me is that what-if don’t help. Do you know how much time I've spent wondering...what if Henry had seen Anna for the amazing woman she was and the great queen she could be and had not divorced her? What if I never went to work at court? What if Jane hadn’t died? What if you hadn’t died? What if you had a son? What if Catalina never divorced?’ she trails off. ‘And you know what that got me? A big fat nothing.’

‘So everything comes down to me?’

‘How did you get that from what I said??’ That was not what Kat expected after her long-winded monologue. ‘I just meant that you can’t change the past. And personally? Wondering about what-ifs only hurts me. It’s better to accept what happened. Take responsibility, if you had any. Make amends if possible. I think that’s what Cathy is doing. And I can’t really ask her anything more than that.’

‘Why now?’ Anne’s harsh question breaks the awkward silence that had settled as Cathy had shuffled into the room. ‘Why tell us now?’

‘I knew I had to. Sooner or later. It’s...not a secret and I knew I didn’t want you to find it out from someone else. But also...I did not want to tell you. So I kept...ignoring the issue. And then Kat's song...I could not...not anymore. Also my song is partially about Thomas.’ Cathy rushes out the last part.

‘Why would you do that?’ Anne growls.

Catalina puts a hand on her leg. Anne had never given signs of being prone to violence, but Catalina knows that if she was ever to set eyes on someone who hurt Katherine....a hand would not stop her, she realises, nothing would. She hopes Cathy has a good answer because she doesn’t know if she would be able to restrain Anne...or if she even would wish to.

‘We are writing as we would have told our story then. While married to Henry. And I truly thought he was the love of my life. I didn’t know he was...like that. I thought about changing it, rewriting, but-’

‘Jane sings about loving Henry and we all know how he was.’ Kat points out, stopping Cathy from winding herself up too much.

Nobody can really counteract that.

‘Since we are on uncomfortable topics. Is there anything else that people could bring up that we don’t know about each other? That could make problems? Sow discord?’ Anna asks. ‘Perhaps it’s better if we air it and sort it out now rather than later. Or worse, get ambushed with it once we go public.’

‘Everyone already knows what I did. Catalina especially.’ Anne sends the first queen an apologetic smile that looks more like a grimace.

‘Anne knows what I did.’ Jane follows up in a similar way.

‘You all know about my life now.’ Kat shrugs.

‘Nothing else I’m ashamed of.’ Cathy confirms.

‘The second part is good.’ Anne knows the others are waiting for her to go first with her opinion on Cathy’s song.

The last wife gives her a small smile. She appreciates her trying, and she certainly wasn’t expecting any positive word from her, or anybody else, about anything to do with Thomas.

‘Yeah. Sort of wish I included more accomplishments in mine, now.’

‘We can.’ Kat turns to Catalina.

‘Just saying.’ Catalina waves the offer away. ‘I love it as it is.’

‘This is supposed to be the last song before the finale, right?’ Jane asks, thoughtful expression on her face.

‘Unless he had a secret seventh wife.’ Anne jokes.

‘Wouldn’t be surprised if he had plans for one.’ Kat joins in.

‘He did.’

‘What?’ Heads turn to Anna and Cathy, who had spoken at the same time.

‘There were rumours about him eyeing Katherine Willoughby,’ Cathy continues, ‘Brandon, Duchess of Suffolk.’ She addresses Kat in particular.

‘Oh, yes! I remember her.’ Kat turns to Catalina. ‘She was Maria’s daughter.’

‘Probably would have married her, had he gone through with beheading me.’ Cathy goes on, aware that she sounds bitter. Not because of that. No. She had been afraid, but she had never blamed her, and she had died thinking she was a good friend of hers. Only to come back and find out that she had been appointed guardian of her daughter…and she had not done right by her Mary. 

‘I’m sorry, what?’

‘Oh. Yeah.’ Cathy looks around, shocked exclamations and faces bringing her back to the present. ‘You didn’t know?’

‘You didn’t say!’

‘You said you had nothing else to add.’ Anne sounds accusatory, but she is just distraught. She might be coming to terms with what Cathy did, and she is still upset with her, but it doesn’t mean she would wish her own fate onto her.

‘That’s not something I’m ashamed of.’ The last queen explains, shrugging it off. She was not hiding it. She just never thought about bringing it up. After all, what is a thwarted arrest and possible execution when there is someone, actually two someone, who actually got beheaded? 

‘Another Katherine…Did he have a name kink or what?’

Good-natured groans follow Anna’s attempt to lighten up the mood.

‘Back to the question.’ Cathy sends Jane an apologetic look, as they got derailed and never answered her. ‘Yes, mine would be the last song before the finale, why?’

‘Not to take over, and I know it’s not my thing, so it could be a stupid idea, but...what if we make the last part about us all. Maybe making the last ‘I’ a we?’

Cathy plays the last few chords on the keyboard.

_I don’t need your love_

She plays them again.

_We don’t need your love_

‘Yeah, that works.’

‘We could all sing it together.’ Catalina adds. ‘It could be a nice way to tie it to the group song for the conclusion.’

‘Actually-’

‘About that-’

Cathy and Anne start at the same time. Then Anne gestures Cathy to go first. After all, that’s her song.

Cathy smiles at her, before looking down at her lyrics. ‘What if…’ She scratches her temple and then starts making some corrections on the paper. She hands the papers to Kat once she is done.

The girl quickly glances at the changes, then at Cathy. ‘Are you sure? This is your song…’

‘Can we also know or…?’

‘Sorry.’ Cathy flushes slightly at Anne’s remark. ‘What if after,’ she starts playing.

_I disappear_

‘We put,’

_We disappear_

‘Uhm.’ She plays it again.

_We all disappear_

‘Better.’ Kat confirms what Cathy was thinking.

‘And then the verse is all going to be we instead of I,’ Cathy continues.

_So we had no choice  
But now it's us alone  
No, we've got no choice  
We're taking back the microphone_

‘And then we could just sing the rest together? Not sure all the I can be changed to we, or us, or you know, I’ll try it out, but if not, and we’re just singing it together anyway, it’s pretty much the same?’ Cathy looks around. ‘Thoughts?’

‘Are you sure you want to share your song?’ Catalina asks. She would be the only one doing it in such a significant way, not just choruses and backing vocals.

‘I’ll give it a bit more of thoughts, but,’ Cathy shrugs, ‘you’re right, it could be a good leading up to us singing the final song together. Anne, what were you going to say?’

Anne snickers at the abrupt shift but doesn’t comment on it. ‘I wanted to talk about the finale. Ask if there is anything you’d like to try to include. Besides the lines we already got. Just let me or Kat...or Cathy know.’ Anne adds after a beat. ‘If you still agree, we’ll try to jot down a first draft and see what you think.’

Previous experiences had shown them that trying to write something all six of them was...not productive at all.

‘And since the musical is about rewriting history, we thought the song could be about that. So if you could think about one thing that you would change in your story. It doesn’t have to make sense in the grand scheme of things. Just one thing you wish had gone differently. That you wish you had done. Said. I don’t know. Never came to England. Stayed married to your first husband. Whatever.’

‘Also, if you have any suggestion for a name. For the musical. Or us as a group...’

‘The Tudor von Trapps?’

Everyone looks at Jane. Then at Kat, the obvious culprit. Or at least instigator.

‘I just thought she’d like the Sound of Music.’ And in her defence, she did. Clearly.

‘Not keen on using his name.’ Catalina mutters, getting nods from everyone else, Jane included.

‘What about Royal-ing Stones?’ the third queen offers another idea.

Kat raises her hands in pre-emptive defence. _That_ is not her fault.

‘Yeah, that’s on me.’ Anna admits.

‘Jane is banned from choosing any name. Ever.’

‘Hey!’ Jane protests, but she does not sound too upset. ‘I don’t see you suggesting anything, Anne!’


	10. Chapter 10

‘Mum?’ Kat pops her head in. ‘I’m meeting with Cathy and Anne to work on the song, and we still don’t have your one thing yet.’ She steps in the room seeing the hesitation and conflict on Catalina’s face. ‘It doesn’t have to make sense. Or consider consequences.’ She hesitates for a second. ‘Not to be full of myself, but...is it about not divorcing Henry? Which would mean not meeting me?’

‘It’s actually not marrying him at all. But then I wouldn’t have had Mary and you.’ Catalina avoids her eyes, clearly feeling guilty about it.

Kat steps closer, taking her mother’s hands in hers. ‘That’s fine.’ She leans forward so that their foreheads are touching. It’s something Catalina had started to do when Kat would struggle to talk to her about something painful or to look at her in the eyes (or both). A silent way to show her love and support and presence. ‘I don’t think there is anyone in the world who would blame you for wishing that.’

‘So we got...Catalina not marrying Henry. Anne ignoring his love letters.’

‘I see a pattern.’ Anne jokes.

‘Jane wanting a bigger family.’ Cathy carries on reading the notes.

‘Anna going back to Germany.’ Kat continues. ‘Me it’s...well, Mannox never happening. Cathy?’

‘I wish I had met you all.’

‘You are really making it hard to stay mad at you.’ Anne grumbles.

Kat knows better than to point out that Anne already seems to have forgiven Cathy and how far they have come into repairing their relationship. ‘I have an idea for my bit, and if you like it, we could, I don’t know, work from there?’

She picks up the guitar, warms up quickly, and then starts to strum.

_Music man tried it on and I was like, "Bye"  
So I thought, "Who needs him? I can give it a try"  
I learned everything  
Now all I do is sing  
And I'll do that until I die_

Both Cathy and Anne just nod smiling. There isn’t much to say after all.

‘What if we use the same tune for all parts?’ Anne asks, tapping her pen on the notepad. She has some ideas for her segment, but she didn’t go as far as coming up with potential musical accompaniment. ‘So that it would be coherent as a song rather than a series of different bits pieced together?’

The other two agreeing, they get to work, the only sound in the room faint humming as they try out possible lines and melodies.

‘For Catalina what about...He got down on one knee, but I said no way.’ Kat speaks up after a while.

‘Anna could have something about going back to her hometown and...having a great life? Partying?’ Cathy pitches. With her song the fourth queen is definitely going to come across as the one who knows how to have fun. ‘I wonder if we could fit some throwback to her song too.’

‘Jane could be...I don’t know. Clearly not a heart of stone.’ Kat muses.

‘What about...the royaling stones?’

‘What?’

‘Something about her having a big family, making a band called the Royaling Stones?’ Cathy thinks aloud.

‘Wouldn’t the Tudor von Trapps be better, if it’s a big family?’

Anne cuts them off. ‘I have no reference to my song, but it fits Kat's tune.’

_Henry sent me a poem all about my green sleeves  
I changed a couple words, put it on a sick beat  
The song blew their minds  
Next minute I was signed  
And now I'm writing lyrics for Shakesy P_

‘And yes, before you say anything, I know that Shakespeare was born after all of us died.’ Anne says pre-emptively before they could point it out. 

‘Talking about anachronistic things…How would you feel about including Greensleeves? Like the actual music.’ Cathy asks. They already had the discussion about including mentions of the song in Anne’s parts despite it not having been written for her or during Henry’s reign at all. ‘Maybe a modernized version?’

‘Don’t want to overstep, choreography is not my thing, but we could include some steps from dances from our time? Or at least give that kind of impression?’ Kat proposes.

‘Love it!’

As Anne jots down some ideas to share with Catalina, Cathy writes on the whiteboard what they have come up with so far. Then she steps away, looking at it. ‘So all rewrites so far have us in the music industry...what if we make it a thing?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Like, all our alternative stories sort of taking us to the point where we get together for the musical?’

‘What about Catalina?’ Kat asks, pondering aloud.

‘She could join a gospel choir?’

Kat snorts. ‘Thanks, Annie! Now I have this picture of her as Deloris.’

‘Who?’

‘Sister Act!’

Anne starts laughing, almost falling out of her chair at the image now burned in her brain.

‘What about you, Cathy?’ Kat asks, as Anne tries to regain her breath. ‘How would you join us? If we go in order, I mean.’

‘Give me a sec. I might have an idea.’ She starts to scribble down some words, humming to herself. She scratches something out, rewriting it.

_Heard all about these…_

‘Splendid…girls? Amazing queens? Well, something, and then,’

_Loved every song and each remix_  
So I went out and found them  
And…

Cathy trails off.

_And we laid down an album_

Anne chips in.

‘Perfect!’

‘Can you imagine that?’ Kat sighs. ‘Recording an actual album?’

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself.’ Anne rolls her eyes fondly at her cousin, before suddenly letting out a laugh. ‘Did you get it?’ She nudges her. ‘A-head of yourself?’

Kat gives her a blank stare as Anne keeps grinning, looking proud of herself.

‘Is it like a family thing?’ Cathy breaks the staring contest. ‘Because, Kat, you came up with puns for Jane’s songs very easily...’

Kat claps her hands, ignoring Cathy’s words. ‘Moving on!’

‘That’s what Henry said after each wife.’ Anne is on a roll.


End file.
